Tommy attempts to Destroy the World! (oneshot)
by theregularmaster
Summary: *disclaimer: I made this in the fanfiction generator and then heavily edited it. Not original (except for mabey 1/3 of a sentence) Rated M for lots of Sex and Sexual Language. Seriously though.


Once upon a time...

Lisa was rescuing some bunch of flowers.

Suddenly he bumped into Mark.

"Whoa I didn't expect to see you here at your house."

"Yes I come here every Tuesday."

Suddenly, there was a slow creepy, scary noise. He put his Sex in her Sex and they had Sex!

They stared deeply and lovingly at each other.

But they bumped into a deep dark scary hole.

"Oh no I have been damaged" said Lisa.

"I believe Tommy is behind this!"

"I deduced as much myself did I"

"He is behind a mega evil scheme to dominate our town."

"How"?

By finding a powerful Leaf blower of doom and firing it at us.

"Can we stop him?"

Yes, by finding the pencil case of Satan.

"Where?"

In the magical island, hidden in the mountings of bunny rabbits, opposite the Banana of hell.

... There lies a signpost...it will tell you where to go.

"Who are you?"

"..."

With that the mysterious invisible voice vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Come now, Hero, we must find and seek our quest to do!"

"Indeed thee must hasten to hawk yonder!"

And with that they left

Later, once they were alone and away from the others, Lisa met with Mark in a nearby Hanger

They had been meeting like this awhile now, often in the evenings or at night.

A deep friendship had struck up after their previous adventures, but they kept it hidden as they didn't know what the others would think.

They often did some talking, eating some sandwiches, maybe a few board games.

They were quite close friends by now.

This particular night they were shearing secrets with each other. Telling each other things neither had told anyone else before. Things that not a single soul knew.

"Then there was that time I...Destroyed Claudette's house!"

"Oh, Lisa! That's very extreme"

They both laughed. The night had been full of stories like this. The time Mark blackmailed a Shoe shiner. Or the time Lisa fooled a Director into thinking it was the end of the world. Endless stories shared just between them and no one else.

It was making them closer.

Closer then Lisa had ever thought possible.

As Lisa was telling another story, she thought she saw Mark examining her. Looking with… was that longing?

nah...couldn't be.

The moment was over and they departed each other's company.

Lisa felt something had changed that night, but wasn't sure what.

'But then, it turned out Lisa's lover had been secretly sleeping with Tommy. She had been having sex with her a lot. Lisa was angry about this. She felt she should be the only one able to thrust his manliness into her.

She was also concerned with aids!

'The pain, the incredibly agonizing suffering she felt going through her heart, down her spine, into her colon and leaving his body through her anus once more. She was going to take revenge, on both of them, on everyone.

She grabbed her Wand, her Light saber and his Chainsaw with M6 like ammo loaded. And of course, her trusty rocket launcher.

There she went, onto the streets, scaring everyone in sight. Everyone knew, she was out to take revenge.

The cops hide, so did the thieves and the beggars and the ladies, until there wasn`t a single living being on the street.

She went into his flying Helicopter, and forced his pilot at gunpoint to fly him to the base of Tommy. There she would take his revenge.

The base of Tommy' was crowded with Loyal followers, all baring heavy arms and Shotguns. And those that didn`t have weapons, had big twin machetes and double egged katana's.

As she flew closer Lisa grabbed his semi-automatic Bazooka, pointed and fired at a group of thugs who were outside for a smoke.

A rain of blood came down, with limbs scattered everywhere. Tommy's flying machine was also colored red, and Lisa believed she could see someone`s eyebrow sticking against the glass.

"Should 'a dodged that," she said manly.

Interlude:

Lisa at that moment felt in her pocket. That's strange there was a note.

It said she should rendezvous at the demolished beach at sunset...and she should being her noochie.

Lisa kept this secret as it was clearly just for Her.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Its almost like your want me badly. Ha Ha!" Lisa chuckled.

"You're my one true friend, Lisa, probably the best one I've had in a long time. I like talking to you, hanging out with you, and I even love listening to you sing.

...And now that you've pointed it out, I think I might like trying sex with you."

"You're touching me. That's not considered appropriate behavior," Lisa whispered, Her bottom lip trembling while her limbs felt frozen.

"Maybe not. But I don't think you're going to stop me." Mark stroked his hand up Lisa's hip, and pulled her shirt from her trousers. Lisa's eyes fluttered shut when she felt Mark's fingers touch the skin of her lower back. But she forced them open again and stared into Mark's pretty eyes.

"I should stop you." Lisa knew she should. This was Mark. Mark! Could she dare wreck their close friendship? And what about their destiny? But that didn't bother Lisa nearly as much.

"Stop me," Mark said, and made it sound like a dare.

Lisa was all set to give Mark a glare, but it faded away when She got her first real look at Mark.I mean sure, Lisa had seen Mark before, but not REALLY seen them. Not with these new eyes which Lisa now had. Her eyes had been she was seeing for the first the wool was no longer over her eyes.

Mark's manly chest.

His pretty neck.

His uncontrollable eyebrows.

His...meat thermometer.

In point of fact, Lisas mouth went a little slack and there may have been some drool.

Other parts of her might have been wet too.

It dripped on Mark.

Mark didn't seem to mind Lisas fluids though. Any kinda of fluid dropping on him was fine it seemed. "ewww" he said but half way it turned to a "owwwwwww".

"owwwwwww"!

It was a "owwwwwww" of pleasure.

It was the first of many sounds to come

Mark opened his mouth wider for stuff to drip into.

They kissed eachother softly. Lisa whispering sweat nothings into Marks ear.

Mark and Lisas bodies entangled becoming one ball of body parts.

It felt like there was Vaginas everywhere...even when there wasn't!

They then practiced lots and lots of sex

Once they had finished practicing, they were experts!

After they had finished - with big grins on their faces and embarrassed, they decided to go home and never speak of this again

"You can never beat me, I'm invincible," said Tommy

"Oh I beat you villain you, you'll run back crying to your momma.

The sexy one (that is, the one that wasn't slaughtered)

"Mhuahahaaha I don't need no mother."

After that, Lisa leaped down onto the volcano plateau of doom, with The Dark Serenity Darkmoon Raven just behind him.

He was in luck because she just managed to jump on it but didn't fall in it. It would have been a short story if she fell in it.

There was lava all around him. The hotness made him sweat with anticipation. Mark called to him: "are you alright lover, you fell quite hard". "I am always hard for you baby!" "I'm an expert at falling," spoke Lisa, "especially with girls."' At that moment lava erupted around him like a climaxing penis.

Tommy stood looking at our hero with her cape flapping in hotness.

She bearded an expression of smugness. "I had told you, I am invincible, I cannot be killed, I cannot die, I cannot breath. And I have this!"'

Suddenly she held the Rapist X 5000 aloft.

"This is what you want!

This is what you need! But it's mine now. You can't stop me.'

"No...not Rapist X 5000"

"The Rapist X 5000!" gasped The Dark Serenity Darkmoon Raven

"Yes. The Rapist X 5000"

Suddenly a bolt of lightning went through in the air, striking left and right but not hitting the lava plateau they were all standing on.

The Villain lit up dark in the flash of lightning. Her features scary.

Laughing as she stood there, she approached Lisa, "Give up and go home, The Dark Serenity Darkmoon Raven doesn't love you anyway."

"That's not true!

I sex her every other night!"

"And the other nights..."

Lisa ran forward and fought him (by slashing into him while Tommy evaded his attack and shoot fire from his fingertips)

But every time she hit Tommy, she just smiled and hit him back.

In between dodging lava ejaculations, Tommy said: "You cannot beat me, join me, and we will rule together!"

"NEVERRRRRRRR!" She YELLED HARD!

"Then you will lose, and I will win and destroy everything you care for."

"I HATE YOU!" said Lisa and ran towards him with her 12 inch weapon drawn.

"Pathetic human, you cannot beat me since I have this Incinerator!""

"No?! You have created it?! What have you done?!"

"Oh it was just a simple thing. With the help of your friend," She said while dodging another lava ejaculation, "I finished it just yesterday. Oh my, a lovely night we had.

"Me and my full 10 inches, oh yes."

"You're a monster and you will die, you monster!"

Lisa ran towards Tommy, just dodging a fire ball, leaping towards a plateau in the lava, dodging a lava ejacualatuion, landing on a rock

She surfed like Legolas in Lord of the Rings on his skateboard towards the villain again, who in turn laughed out loud and smirked and took another fireball in her hands because she really wanted to kill the Lisa

"NOW!" SHOUTED our hero and his female companion lifted her top and Tommy was distracted by the bouncing blobs of woman flesh.

Using this to his outmost tactical advancement Lisa grabbed Rapist X 5000 from Tommy and stabbed him in his eyes Blood gushed out.

"Owch! While I had the Rapist X 5000 I could not be harmed. But now it was taken from me I can and was and it hurt"

He staggered around and grabbed into the air, she was dying. "You are all doomed, doomed! You will die and I will see your death come to you and your family and your families' family."

Suddenly an ejacturalition of lava sprung up and whooshed him with its flames, leaving behind only ashes and his shoes.

"Oh, you are my Hero!" squealed The Dark Serenity Dark moon Raven and embraced him. "If only a single thing survives, her evilness will spread and evilly corrupted the goodness of all good people" And she kicked the shoes into the lava. A skull formed smoke went up from the lava and went away as quickly as the shoes were kicked into the lava.

"Lisa, Lisa, I love you! But we only have 5 seconds to escape before this volcano erupts!"

"Then quick, we must leave and leave this place behind, said Lisa and left this place behind."

Just in time, when the last second of the clock was about tick, Lisa and the sidekicks got out and everything crashed behind him, leaving only smoke and dust and stones behind in the rubble."

And they all made love by fucking each other. Meanwhile...a hand slowly emerged from the lava...


End file.
